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What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.

What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?

He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.

What's a native chick say after sex?

"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.

What’s the only reason Emos drink?

To get hungover.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.

Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.

Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!

What does a terrorist get for Christmas?

A C4.

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!

"Go get me the lamb sauce!"