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How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?

God fucked her.

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.

One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.

"1v1," said Kobe. LeBron James says, "Ok, bet," and bet the money. Bro, ok, let's get it."

How do you get "Dick" from Richard?

Ask him nicely.

What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?

When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.

Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?

You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.

I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.

Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?

He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.

What's a native chick say after sex?

"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"

Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

What do orphans and apples have in common?

Only one gets picked.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

El, if I know.