Get jokes

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a blender.

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

My grandfather killed Hitler.

Get it? Get it?

Yo mama so fat, she had to have 5 doorways to get anywhere!

What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?

The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.

Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?

A: Chicken noodle suwoop.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.

What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?

Snooze Dogg.

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.

Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!

Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.

Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.

Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.