Get jokes

But he could only get 1 trade.

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

What is an orphan and an apple?

They get picked.

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!

Does anyone ever get tired of being random? Me neither.

Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!

There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why don’t she stand up for herself?

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple actually gets picked.

Why are orphans different from apples?

Apples get picked.

"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"

Why did the whale cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide!!! 😂

What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business.

Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?

I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

What does iCloud eat for lunch?

Your documents.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the “shell” station.

Why do science jokes usually get no reaction?

Because they're so boron!

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.