Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
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What do you call a rapper who CAN’T GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING?
Snooze Dogg.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!
How do you get "Dick" from Richard?
Ask him nicely.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
Is it so? Do people get freedom?
Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.
Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
My grandfather killed Hitler.
Get it? Get it?
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
