Get jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

The apples get picked.

How do you get an emo out of the tree?

You cut the rope.

Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?

'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

Why did the impostor vent... to get to the other side?

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.

Little Johnny paints them black.

Little Johnny went to a gun store.

Little Johnny made a big mess.

The cemetery people were getting paid.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?

You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.

Science experts say when you get mad, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.

What's the difference between an apple and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?

They couldn't hit home base.

What do orphans and apples have in common?

Only one gets picked.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

El, if I know.

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.