Get jokes
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Want my cookie? Come and get it... 😭
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
Girls be like
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
The apples actually get picked.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Dark humor is like water.
Some people get it, others don't.