Get jokes

Why did the gay man get raped?

He assed for it.

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.

Dark humor is like water.

Some people get it, others don't.

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

What is the same between water and dark jokes?

Not everyone gets it!

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

'Cause they can’t get home.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?

Stop imagining!

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

What did one orphan say to the other?

"GET IN THE BATMOBILE, ROBIN!"

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.