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Orphan

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

Memes

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!

Flag

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Orphanage

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

Dad

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

Cereal

Bf: Hey, what ya doing?

Gf: Just lying in bed.

Bf: Just lying in bed?

Gf: And eating cereal.

Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?

Gf: Eat my cereal.

Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.

Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.

Wrist

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

Casino

What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.