Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
Get Jokes
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldnât know what a mummy is.
Dark humor is like water.
Some people get it, others don't.
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Whatâs the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
The apples actually get picked.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean youâre siblings?
