Get jokes
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
The apples actually get picked.
Dark humor is like water.
Some people get it, others don't.
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Want my cookie? Come and get it... 😭
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).