Get jokes

Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.

What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?

Chocolate arm.

Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

Me: Hey friend!

Friend: Yes?

Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.

Friend: Touch.

Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)

Friend: Grass.

Me: And you get?

Friend: Touch grass.

What's the difference between puppies and orphans?

Puppies actually get picked.

What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?

The apples actually get picked.

Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.

What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!

Why did the gay man get raped?

He assed for it.

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.

Dark humor is like water.

Some people get it, others don't.

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

What is the same between water and dark jokes?

Not everyone gets it!

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.