Get jokes

Why can’t an orphan get arrested?

Because they're not wanted.

Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?

Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?

If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To get to the real estate agent.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

What do orphans want to get for Christmas?... A mother.

What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?

It's funnier when kids get it.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

'Cause they can’t get home.

A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?

Apples get picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked, and the other doesn't.

Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?

Stop imagining!

What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?

Shredded tweet!

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"