Friend jokes
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.
Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”
Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”
My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.
Me: Hi, my name is...
Bro: Hey guys! So who are you?
Me: Hey, stop dude!
Bro: How is it going, bro--
Me: SHUT UP!
Bro: Is that a gun?
Me: *Pointing at bro*
Bro: Dude, I'm...
Me: *BANG* *BANG*
Me: Finally, it's over.
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
When your friend moves to Texas and she comes back a cowgirl.
YEEEHAWW!
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
I played Uno with my Mexican friend.
That bastard took all the green cards!
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.