Friend jokes
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."
LOL
There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."
I only have a few friends, like if you relate.
Based on a true story.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.