Friend jokes

Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.

He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.

He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.

Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."

How come none of my friends have dungeons? Oddly enough, they all have "rape dungeons."

A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."

"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"

"We're going with Trevor."

"Ok, what if it's a girl?"

"Then we'll have an abortion."

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”

He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”

I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭

My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

Friend: You are joking.

Me: Joking on deez nuts.

How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?

B minor.

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!