Friend jokes
I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
What do your teacher and your friend have in common? They will both die eventually.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"
Friends = your power level.
Emo kid = power level: 0000.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Me: Jaiden telling orphan jokes to my friend.
That orphan behind me...
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."