Friend jokes

My Dearest Friend--C'mon, RickRoll ;)

Friends = your power level.

Emo kid = power level: 0000.

You: I have a nice hairline.

Your friend: Since when do you have one?

You: I forgot.

My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.

Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭

Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵

I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!

Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find

Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.

Me: What are we doing in HPE?

Friend: Fitness.

Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

Why can't orphans call their friends?

Because they don't have a home phone!

The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.

Me: I have an arrow in my head.

My friend: What's the point of that?

Me: Of the arrow?

Friend: No!

Me: Probably the flint.

My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."

Little did I know it was just at prison.

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.