Friend jokes

My Dearest Friend--C'mon, RickRoll ;)

My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.

Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭

Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵

I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!

Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find

Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.

My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.

Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

Me: What are we doing in HPE?

Friend: Fitness.

Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.

Friend: Your life is a joke.

Me: No, jokes have meaning.

Me: I have an arrow in my head.

My friend: What's the point of that?

Me: Of the arrow?

Friend: No!

Me: Probably the flint.

My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."

Little did I know it was just at prison.

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

To anyone who wants to be my friend:

Hello.

Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!

Alex <3

My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.

Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

Me: Nothing, why?

Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

Me that/every night: *sob*

Friends: Are you okay?

Me: Yeah, fine.

Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...