Friend jokes

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

How much context, pecker? You Press context categoria, go Discord.

Drink tea with friend game night.

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Friend: “What's that on your arm?”

Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”

When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."

Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

James, sike, I lied, your mommy is pancakes, is so dry.

My best friend: Joey, sike, I lied, your Twitch is dry.

My other friends: the winner is................. my guy James!

What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?

He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"

Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."

Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"

Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"

The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"

The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."

The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"

"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"

Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.

My friend, what's up?

Me: What's up in space is planets and stars.

I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.