Friend jokes

Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.

Me: What are we doing in HPE?

Friend: Fitness.

Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.

Me: I have an arrow in my head.

My friend: What's the point of that?

Me: Of the arrow?

Friend: No!

Me: Probably the flint.

My Dearest Friend--C'mon, RickRoll ;)

You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.

Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?

Friends = your power level.

Emo kid = power level: 0000.

You: I have a nice hairline.

Your friend: Since when do you have one?

You: I forgot.

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

Dwarfism is a growing problem.

Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.

He jumped off a curb stone.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

Why can't orphans call their friends?

Because they don't have a home phone!

The name is Ash, Johnathan Ash. My friends call me Jack.

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."

Little did I know it was just at prison.

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"