Orphan

Anonymous

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______

Puns

Anonymous

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

5

Puns

Anonymous

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high…

9

Puns

Anonymous

Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing

Orphan

Anonymous

when you go to a orphanage for a field trip :when the workers said i remember you as a kid

Football

Tanner Pomeranz

A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.

However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.

So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.

He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.

The man replies, “No.”

The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”

The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”

“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”

“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”

Bad

Allison

A scare crow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field

Animal

Anonymous

Two horses are standing in a field. “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” says the first.

“Moo!” says the second.

Baby

Anonymous

what’s the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies

My boner

7

Cow

Anonymous

Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, “Aren’t you worried about this mad cow disease that’s been going around?” The other cow replied, “Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I’m a rabbit!”

3

Forehead

PG Tips

Your forehead is so big and shiney it looks like a solar field

Puns

Anonymous

A Vampire Stalks you into a field of corn, The stakes have never been higher…

Puns

Anonymous

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Virgin

Anonymous

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married 10 times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn’t get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!” “Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?” “You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m going to get screwed!”

1

Orphan

Anonymous

Why can’t orphans give on a field trip

Parent signature __________

Orphan

Anonymous

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips

parents signature: _______

Stick

GabeTheGuy

So a bear and a rabbit are in field, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “does your poop stick to your fur?” And the rabbit replied, “no” and the bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

2

Animal

retired grocer

A farmer counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

Baby

roki

my old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking thru a field of dead babies was… his cock

Orphan

LALA

y can’t orphans go on field trips??? bc they need a parent signature.