Friend jokes
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
Your hairline and forehead must be friends, because they go way back further than the universe.
Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Me and 1/2 of my friends.
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!
How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?
B minor.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
My friend committed suicide yesterday... At least he went out with a bang.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.