Friend jokes

In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"

Me: "Where?"

Friend: "In front of me."

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

Me: Spell "I cup."

My Friend: I see you pee.

Me: BOII YOU BETTER GIVE MEH SOME PRIVACY IN MY BATH ROOM!!!!

My Friend: Oh hehe O-O

I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.

Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.

"Gwen, I want my boyfriend back!"

I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.

My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.

"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."

-Mully- This is my mom left!!

Dinosaurs be like:

".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."

I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.

Like and comment if you will be my friend!

Friend 1: *turns off lights*

Friend 2: *is there with us*

Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

My friend asked me:

Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

Me: "1 million."

Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

Friend: "Oh."

My friend says, "Time flies when having fun," so when he was gaming, I threw his clock to test that theory.