Friend jokes
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult, "I know the whole truth," they will be all weird. So he went home and told his mom, "I know the whole truth," and she gave him $20 and said to keep quiet.
Pleased, when his dad got home, he said, "I know the whole truth," and his dad gave him $40 and said, "Don't tell Mom." Really pleased, he met the mailman the next day and said, "I know the whole truth." Then the mailman got down on his knee, opened his arms, and said, "Come to daddy."
Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
My friends think I'm bipolar. I threw a pencil case at someone and I walked out, walked back in 2 seconds later and I was sunshines and rainbows.
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.
I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.
Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”
My friend was the only one who laughed.
I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"
Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."
Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"
Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"
The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"
The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."
The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"
"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.