Friend jokes

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.

My friends think I'm bipolar. I threw a pencil case at someone and I walked out, walked back in 2 seconds later and I was sunshines and rainbows.

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

I asked my friend what happened to him?

His balance shifted.

How much context, pecker? You Press context categoria, go Discord.

Drink tea with friend game night.

In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"

Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."

Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"

Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"

The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"

The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."

The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"

"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.

Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?

Because it’s a fungi.

My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.

My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.