Friend jokes

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Bone."

"Bone who?"

"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."

He was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city hall in French, and then on his way to be a good friend of the situation in the city, as he had been fixed in a few hours of the situation in which he was walking. I will never shiver at the sight [of] words.

Friend 1: Did you?

Depressed friend 2: I didn't!

Friend one: Swear on your life!

Depressed friend 2: I swear.

A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.

My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."

So I said, "But which one?"

Me: Let's go to Randy's.

Friend: There's no Randy's.

Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Once a monkey lived in a jamun tree. His friend, a crocodile, came there to eat jamun everyday. The second day, he ate some jamun and left some for his wife. Soon, his wife said, "Why don't you kill this monkey?"

The crocodile was sad and then asked the monkey to come to his place. The monkey said, "What if I drown?" The crocodile said, "Jump on my back." The monkey jumped on his back. The crocodile soon said, "I am gonna kill you. My wife is sick and wants to eat your heart." The monkey said, "I left my heart on the jamun tree." Then the crocodile swam back to the jamun tree and the monkey jumped on the tree.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?

Because they literally can't even.

After sleeping with her boyfriend for the first time, the lead singer of Blackbriar told her friend all about it: "Ik zora cock!"

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.