Friend Jokes

What kind of man would be a lesbians best friend? A decimen.

Friend: did your tattoos hurt Me: nah not really Friend: What did they feel like Me: 7th grade Friend:😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

What did one deperesed kid say to the other? Hey wanna hang together.

I was in the mood for some dark meat so I called my black friend.

I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.

Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "now were not even allowed to do that."

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall

My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day Friend: why? Me: because i put the women rights book in the fiction section

my best friend got ligma (ah did he, sorry bro) LIGMA BALLS

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Lego figures from his friend but they ran way too.

Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!

Friend: How dark IS your humor Me: It started an orginization against cops

What do u call a grown up with ur sister, ur best friend

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness. Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!"