Why are baby elephants so smart? They hang out with friends!
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
Rose's are red violets are blue fortnite is dead so are you (I have no friends because all of my friends play fortgay just like my friends all of them are gay)
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.
Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.
I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?
Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"
Friend: Knock Knock. Me: Who’s there? Friend: Short. Me: Short Who? Friend: Short you! Me: 🙁 Friend:🤣
FRIEND: Hey, want to come to my house?
LONELY ORPHAN/TRUMP: Want to come to my orphange?
FRIEND: Dude, I'm blocking you!
LONELY ORPHAN: :(
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
i dont have any friends if you like this i can be your friend :)
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
