If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
What is the plural of goose geese what is the plural of foot feet what is The plural of moose well it ant meese
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
