Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Foot Jokes
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
Toes for hoes.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
