Foot jokes

I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.

Why did the orphan dig six feet under?

To find his parents.

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

How do you save your wife from drowning?

Take your foot off her neck.

Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.

How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?

When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."

I've got a job defusing landmines.

It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.

If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?

Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?

They only have 4.

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

Toes for hoes.

How to make a baby make funny faces?

Put it feet first in a blender.

Why do giraffes have such long necks?

Because their feet smell!

You don't need brains to be a Boss.

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

Man: How tall is a penguin?

Bartender: About three foot, why?

Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

Poor car.

Where did Sally go after the gunshot?

6 feet under.

*That is how deep they put the coffin...*

Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.

Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...