Foot jokes
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
Toes for hoes.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.