Foot jokes
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
Memes
so you have chosen...death
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
Toes for hoes.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.