Foot jokes
Greg fucking steals toes!
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Toes for hoes.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
I’m a short joke.
I’m only five feet tall 😞