Foot jokes
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
Toes for hoes.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.