Foot jokes
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Chuck Norris once won a race against Usain Bolt, running in the opposite direction around the track, blindfolded, on one foot.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Toes for hoes.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!