A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."