Foot jokes
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
Why did my foot cross the road?
Because your ass was on the other side.
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
A friend texts to another:
"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"
The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"
To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
Why are all women's feet small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.