Foot Jokes

If an athlete gets athletes foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!

So a man walks into the bar. The bartender looks to him and says, "You look like your having a rough day, tell me about it?"

The man then stood up and became mario

I don't have a carbon foot print, I just drive everywhere.

Step on ur small sister foot she will always open her mouth like a dustbin

Discuss the synopsis of this poem. My Friend Billy Has A Ten Foot Willy.

Big foot is just a normal person who covered himself in pritt stick and went down on susan boyle

number 15 burger king foot lettuce the last thing you want in your Berger king Berger is someones foot fungus but as it turns out that might be what you get.

What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet

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Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!

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Q: If you were in a ra

IF a person walks off a hundred foot cliff and half way down screams why did I do that. Then a second person walks off the same one hundred foot cliff and screams the same verse "why did I do that," then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line" why did I do that" and the next person the same thing. What do you call that? (Stupid People)

What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?

De-feeted (Defeated)

what did the barbwire say to big foot my name is jeff

i used to hate foot fungus, but now its growing on me

When I trying to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

I was outside digging a six foot hole, when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar foot longs

A man ask to play kick the bucket ( not death). The other man agrees. They go to the top of Mt.Everest. The man who asked ties the bucket to the other ones foot. Then he kicks it off the cliff which brings the man with it. LOL

THE END

1. Are you talking to me becasue i think you talked to my back side. 2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth. 3. My foot last longer than your life.

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude I just fell off a 50 foot ladder!" Friend: "Bro, you ok?!" Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

I used to have a girlfriend, who would argue with me a lot for no reason, I look at her feet and say to her, here is £15 give yourself a foot pedicure then come back to me it clearly shows you have man feet, you are a woman you should have woman feet, no wonder you boss me around too much as if your the man of the house.