Food jokes

Avocado. Avocado deez nuts!

"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."

What's your mum's favourite food?

Chicken nuggets! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."

"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."

Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?

What kind of people love donuts in the morning? Cops, because they don't have anything else to do.

Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.

I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"

Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.

What do you eat out of?

- A bowl.

I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.

Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.

Yo mama so fat, she ate McDonald's!

What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?

Eating the wheelchair.

Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.

Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."

Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?

The wheelchair.

What do you call a fruit's penis?

A percock.

What is Beyonce's favorite fast food chain?

dairy QUEEEEEEENNNN!

I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news, saying he was a "serial" killer.

Question: What do you call 8 apples?

Answer: The iPhone 8.