Food jokes
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
Why did two 4s skip dinner? Because they already ate.
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
A nut told me to eat him, so I did, but something weird happened. I turned into a nut, and when I poop, there were eggs there.
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
Why did Frozone have a headache? He had brain freeze.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
Avocado. Avocado deez nuts!
What's your mum's favourite food?
Chicken nuggets! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."
What kind of people love donuts in the morning? Cops, because they don't have anything else to do.
Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
What do you eat out of?
- A bowl.
I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.
Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.
Yo mama so fat, she ate McDonald's!