Food jokes
What do you call Mary Berry when she’s on holiday?
A Cake By The Ocean.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
How do you know if a rapper is hungry?
They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
What did the cannibal say to the other?
"Can I practise on you?"
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!
In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.
The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.
The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.
The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.
So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
Ass cream.
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."
I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.