Food jokes
What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?
Panera Lead.
What kind of Panera Bread do fishers use?
Panera bait.
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
I like pie.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!