Food jokes
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"
🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.
No, not like you can ketchup!
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Memes
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
Why can’t orphans eat big bags of chips?
Cause they're family size. ✌🏻😂🤣😅🥲