Food jokes
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
What pizza 🍕 do you order for Christmas?
Cheeses Crust!
Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.
Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.
Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.
Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.
Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.
Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.
In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.
With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Why can't emos work at a restaurant? Because they cut too much.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"