Food jokes
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Beans and toast.
Spinach
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Memes
Shitpostmastergeneeal
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
I like pie.
You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.