Food jokes
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
What's bad? A nut allergy.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?
A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.
Why do orphans use water for cereal? Cause their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
What did the customer say when Beef a Roo made him a bacon cheeseburger?
Thank a Roo.
Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.
I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
Kaas.