Food jokes
My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
What did the egg say to the tuna?
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of cereal?
Snap, crackle, and RAP!
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.
What do you call a pineapple? P.P.A.P. LOLLLLOLOLOLLOL9LOOLKOK.
Do I do the same for dinner tomorrow morning for you?
The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.
And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"
What do you call a pig that pulled a leg? Pulled pork.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.