My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.
Food Jokes
Kaas.
Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?
Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?
Charlie likes big, black chocolate.
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
What did the dumb kid call ratios?
A type of cereal.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
Yo mama so skinny, she choked on a SINGLE STRAND OF SPAGHETTI!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the Mexican take the tamale to the hospital?
Tamlito.
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.
