Food jokes
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They wanted pepperoni, but instead, they got plane.
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
What’s the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,
Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"
The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."
Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."
How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender.
How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of cereal?
Snap, crackle, and RAP!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.