Food jokes
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
Toaster Strudel
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Banana bread is cute.
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
How was your day, Freshfry?
Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"