Spread Jokes

Anonymous
in Blonde

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.

3
Anonymous

Babies can spread a nasty smell,

especially when you haven’t fed them for a month.

2
JAred

Me: spreading positivity Everyone else at the HIV testing center

James

What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?: They both spread for bread

anonymous
in Depression

when someone says to cheer up:
you, I never thought of that. :) -> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game and here in this world we are here for each other although at times it might not seem like it. keep strong and you’ll find the end of the tunnel but ending the pain and bieng gone just spreads depression.

Elina
in Puns

Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

Actually I shouldn’t spread it.

Daniel King
in Butter

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

Your Mom
in Puns

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter. But i decited i didn’t want to spread it

0
ehehe
in Orphanage

what is the difference between a apple spread and an orphan spread?apples get picked

IG @Bennyysbanter

Is buttcheeks one word?

Or should I spread em?

7
Anonymous

When Covid spreads through food but you realized you live in Africa.

Addison Banks age (8)
in Funny

CAN WE PLEASE STOP THE FRICKING DRAMA! I see people bullying other people too, Gwen is not the only one. For god sake just do jokes, if you want to bully some one do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other but were still doing this stupid NONSENSE! JUST MAKE JOKES PEOPLE! That is why it’s called “Worst JOKES ever” not “Bully people EVER” SO SHUT UP AND GET A LIFE DUM DUMS! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread HATE AND FOOLISHNESS FROM PEOPLE WHO DON’T EVEN KNOW BETTER THINGS TO DO BUT TO HATE ON STUPID STRANGERS FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE FRICKING WORLD!!! “Addison shut up your only 8 years old. What do you know.?” I might be 8 but at least I got some sense, and plus I’m way smarter than you guys anyway. I’m in alert. You know like a very, very, very, intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying “u” I say the true say you instead of “pls” it’s “please.” Sorry if I did meant it…which I don’t!

Anonymous
in Duck

this isnt a joke i just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia

A Real Man
in Female

Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap

Anonymous
in Puns

I was gonna tell a rumour about butter but I don’t want to spread it

Unknown

JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech

1
Anonymous
in Pen

Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. “After you’re dead, you’ll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families.” This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio. “There is one small favor I can offer you,” the chief went on. “We’ll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers”. Some of the tribal members begin walking by displaying various implements of war and death. The first explorer chose a crusty looking musket. Thankfully the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss. The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat. Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen. The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought. After a few moments the chieftain, “There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I’ll decide for yo…” “Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?” the explorer interrupted? Baffled the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink. When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler’s Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear. Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink. Confused, the chief began to speak, “I’m afraid we have no paper and even if you wrote a final letter, we’d have no way of sending it anywh…” Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso nib first again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle. Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word. “But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?” the chief asked. Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief’s ear, “You’ll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!”

Jkk
in Sadness

Is buttcheek one work or should I spread them😫

Gwen
in Puns

Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it…