Food jokes

What's a rapper's favorite candy?

Mike and Ikes.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Why did the rapper open a bakery?

Because he wanted to make dough.

I can’t stand jokes about Germans.

They’re the wurst.

What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!

Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]

A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.

Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.

You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.

Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!

And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*

I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!

One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.

What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?

Finger food.

Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!

Pineapple goes on pizza.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

They both have an expiry date.

My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.

Mayonnaise marry me?

What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.

When you say to your dad...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Dad be like...

Who wants my son?

Nan be like, "Me!"

Kid be like...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!

What are roux, says nan?

Um, they're your life savings!

Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"