What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Food Jokes
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
Mayonnaise marry me?
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What do plus a nut and a pee make?
Pee-nuts.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Lettuce ketchup.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Bread?
