Food jokes
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
What type of jam do aliens like?
Space Jam!
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
Memes
Don't squint your eyes
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?
A: It gets pooped out of the bag.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.
What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.