Food jokes
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
I heard a joke about chocolate.
It wasn’t that funny.
I just Snicker-ed.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
A brain eats cheddar cheese.
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
I tried to eat a clock the other day.
It was very time consuming.
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.