Food jokes
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
POV: fishing in the city
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized.
Why do orphans hate big bags of chips?
Because they are family sized :,)
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.
What do you get when you cut an onion?
Onion jizz.
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?
A: It gets pooped out of the bag.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.