Food jokes
What key opens a banana?
A monkey.
I like chips.
Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?
Thing 2: I don't know, what?
Thing 1: One gets hard faster.
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
Memes
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Their dad never came with it.
Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans eat a big bag of crisps?
'Cause it's family size...?!
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.