Food jokes
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP