Food jokes
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
bröd
Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Why are french fries rude?
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Their dad never came with the milk.
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.