Food jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Memes
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
Why can't the orphan get the big bag of chips?
Because it's family-size.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?
Chocolate carrots balls.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
Who is the coolest vegetable?
Rad-ish, of course!