Food jokes
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?
The orphanage.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
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One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?
Porn Cocktail.