Food jokes
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!
Memes
ummmm
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?
- Wassaaaa....B!
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
What's bad? A nut allergy.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
Which restaurants can an orphan not go to?
A family restaurant.
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What do squats eat? Numbers.
What is the fastest cake in the world?
Scone.
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"