Food jokes
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
Memes
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?
Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
What did the banana say to his neighbor? Yellow!
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?
- Wassaaaa....B!
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
What's bad? A nut allergy.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.