Food jokes
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
Chiefs is an egg-cellent cook!
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.