Food jokes
What's something red that is bad for your teeth?
A brick.
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Condensed.
Condensed who?
Condensed milk.
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
Eat my butt.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
Madden Whiffen, a curious soul, With an appetite beyond control, A bottomless pit, never satisfied, Ingesting all that's placed beside.
From dawn till dusk, he feasts his way, Devouring meals without delay, With gusto he consumes, without restrain, Every morsel, every crumb, he'll obtain.
No dish too large, no portion too small, His hunger insatiable, devouring it all, From succulent meats to delicate greens, He relishes the flavors, savoring each scene.
A culinary adventure, forever he embarks, Sampling cuisines from all walks and arcs, From street food to gourmet, he seeks it all, His palate an explorer, on a constant sprawl.
He savors the spices, the textures, the taste, In a gastronomic journey, no time to waste, For Madden Whiffen, the food is his muse, A symphony of flavors, he'll never refuse.
But caution, dear friends, in this feeding spree, For gluttony can lead to a troublesome plea, Madden Whiffen, beware the consequences, For overindulgence brings no recompenses.
In the realm of cuisine, he reigns supreme, A legend of eating, a man of extreme, Madden Whiffen, the one who eats it all, In his gastronomic pursuit, he stands tall.
So let us marvel at his voracious might, As he devours dishes, day and night, For in Madden Whiffen, we witness the feat, A man who eats everything, a culinary elite.
What kind of Panera Bread do fishers use?
Panera bait.