Food jokes
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
Memes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for buns!
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other one is just a watermelon.
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!
Why do cows have hooves?
Because they lactose!
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.