Food jokes
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
Your kid's so ugly he would make a Happy Meal cry.
What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?
Life Savers.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
Why can't orphans have a large bag of chips? Because they're family sized.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.