Food jokes
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized.
Why do orphans hate big bags of chips?
Because they are family sized :,)
Memes
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
What is the best part of a turkey? The drumstick!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.