Food jokes
What type of jam do aliens like?
Space Jam!
What's long and hard and has c*m in the middle? Cucumber. What were you thinking?
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?
A: It gets pooped out of the bag.
Memes
Strength
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Kiwi loves men.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why did the Twin Towers report to the pizza restaurant?
Because they asked for pepperoni, but they got plain.
I ate Taco Bell last night. I pooped out your hairline.