Food jokes
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
Pulled pork? Yeah, I cranked my hog today, too.
Jomama so dumb, she brung a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Last time I ate a vegetable, I got banned from my sister's group home.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
What do bananas wear into battle? Banana-rama!
Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.
And together, we are pho-ever.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.