Food jokes
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What is black and long?
A line at KFC.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
Egg?
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
Wanna hear a joke about cheese? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
I fucking love rhubarbs.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜