Food jokes
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.