Food jokes
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?
A: Plain.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.