Food jokes
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
I'm hungry.
Memes
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.