Food jokes

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?

Time to beet your maker.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

Corn and corn, where is popcorn?

If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!

The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.

What do you call a pig who knows karate?

A pork chop.

What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A carrot!

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

What do you call a guy with a sandwich?

A guy with a sandwich.

Why did the strawberry cry?

Her mom was in a jam.

What's the difference between a baby and putty?

You can only eat one.

What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.