Food jokes
What’s an orphan’s favorite snake, self raising flour?
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
What's green, red, and spins at 4000rpm?
A frog in a blender.
Memes
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?
A: Plain.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?
Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.