Food jokes

Why did the dog go into the fire?

Because it wanted to be a hot dog!

She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.

What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?

Lettuce eat Brussels!

Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.

What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.

What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

What's Barack Obama's favorite vegetable? It's Barack-olli.

Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?

The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!

Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!

He jizzes canned cheese.

What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?

A Mars bar!

A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

Those two jokes are not funny at all!

What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!

I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!

What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?

It was scrambled.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!

What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?

Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!