Food jokes

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

I hate orange, but that always juice back.

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

Corn and corn, where is popcorn?

Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."

Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.

Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"

What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?

Pooreos.

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?

There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.

What's red and white and lives in a blender?

A baby.

How do you get a party started in Africa?

You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.

What do you call an idiotic cow?

A mis-steak!

Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.

I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.

Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.

(I love oil!)

What's the difference between an onion and a baby? I only tear up cutting the onion.