Food jokes
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
Memes
when your mom finds out you pour milk before cereal
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
Hey guys, thank you for finding this. Vote in the thumbs up or thumbs down whether you prefer Reese’s cups or Starbursts, and comment if you have a different preference! I would like to know a little about people! Thanks, Izzy.
Anong tawag sa cake na may ubo?
Edi cough cake! NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAKAJAHA LT TLGA BOSIT
What is the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why did the chicken nugget cross the road?
To get cooked by KFC.
How much curry can an Indian eat? Until his red dot explodes.
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"