Food jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Memes
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.
Me: Why?
Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.
I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?
People want donuts.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?
One gets picked.
What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?
Vegetable soup.
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered three pepperoni pizzas and one came plain, the other came late, and the other one went to the wrong address.
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
What do oranges 🍊 sweat?
Juice!
Suck all the bread!