Food jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
Memes
Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.
Me: Why?
Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.
I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
What do oranges 🍊 sweat?
Juice!
Suck all the bread!
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."