Food jokes

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.

Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.

POV: You go to Asian prison.

You get served extra rice.

What do gay horses eat?

Hayyyyy!

Yo momma so stupid that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.

One was just a plane tortilla.

The other one was also just a plane tortilla.

And the third one went to the wrong address.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!

Keep calm and curry on!

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?

Yeah, he Pasta-Way.

What do you call an Italian dog?

A labra-noodle.

Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?

Because he was grounded.

Ice cream is just like I scream.

Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.