Food jokes
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
Memes
Why is this true?
A chicken is delicious.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
Pineapple turnover.
What snack do aliens like?
Mars Bars.
Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.
Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
Where do smart hotdogs end up?
On the honor roll!
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!