Food jokes
Your mom is so fat, that burger.
Eating a clock is so time-consuming.
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What does a British cannibal's favorite meal?
Fish and chaps.
What do frogs eat?
French fries!
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
Where do you take your pig to karate?
The pork chop class!
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.