Food jokes
Omnom.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
Memes
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.