Food jokes
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
Memes
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.