Food jokes
What's the only thing with 4 legs Asians don't eat? A table.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!
What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
"Orange you glad I made it?"
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
Me after Taco Bell, "I’m about to blow this place up like September 11."
One time I ate a chair.
What do you call a bruised banana?
A school bus full of his kids.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Orphan: I'm hungry.
Dad: Let's go to KFC.
Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"