Food jokes
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!