Food jokes
I find all these obese jokes horrible.
Don't you think they have enough on their plate?
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Memes
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they got plane pizza instead of cheese!
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
What flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising.
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What do you call a dog in China?
E10