Food jokes
Potato.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
Memes
Why?
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
"Welcome to Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last week's loss is this week's sauce."
I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.