Food jokes
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Memes
If you people find this confusing, nothing is because CHEESE IS CHEESE!!!
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
Wanna hear a joke about cheese? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"