Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Food Jokes
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.
Like this post if you think pineapple belongs on pizza.
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
"Welcome to Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last week's loss is this week's sauce."
I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
Potato.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
