Food jokes
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe... Breathe..."
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Wanna hear a joke about cheese? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.