Food jokes
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Want my cookie? Come and get it... 😭
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
Memes
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
Wanna hear a joke about cheese? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.