Food jokes
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
What was Jesus's favorite food?
Answer: Snails
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
"Mayotte’s are sinking in the yogurt! (My Oat’s)" 🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹🇾🇹
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Do nut get in my way.
What's black and long?
- The line at KFC.
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!