Food jokes
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Memes
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
Eat cockroaches.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
Cheese, gimme cheese!
(inspired by a friend)
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.