Food jokes
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!