Food jokes
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!