Food jokes
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Memes
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!