Food jokes
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What do you call a gay drive by?
A fruit roll up.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
Memes
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?
Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.